As the day approaches that I fear, that once again I will be homeless. Tes it is not the first time. I was homeless twice before. Once when I was in college. Luckily I was in Los Angeles. Where I could go to class during the day and like many other students take naps in the student center and no body was the wiser. At night there was a bus that had a route that was just around 3 hours in length. It started on Pasadena and went into Hollywood and then down to South Los Angeles. with a bus pass one could ride that nus from one end of the route and get 3 hours sleep. then catch the return route and get another 3 hours sleep. Even today that sleep patern exists with my average daily sleep being between three and four hours. I remember those days with stark memories of being beaten and robbed multiple times on the layover in South Los Angeles waiting for the driver to take his break and turn around for the return leg.
My second time experiencing homelessness wasn't as bad. I had a car to sleep in and I maintained a job. There was a different enemy then the first time. The first time it was South Los Angeles gang members and other homeless. The second time it was sadistic cops who found pleasure in waking me up pulling me out of the car and then throwing everything I owned onto the street while forcing me to sit on the curb and watch. Occassionally they would find some stupid reason to take me to jail, just for the night. No charges filed... and impound my car. I would have to use evey penny I had saved to get my car out of impound.
Today I face a similar fate. Once again I am looking in the face of being homeless. This time while I do have a car... my car is dying. It is leakong oil as fast as I can put new oil into it. I still owe $19,000 on the car loan and am struggling to keep the payments current.
Why am I facing homelessness? Because I dared to love a Trangender person. a Transmasculine AFAB FTM. Because I loved Dylan Sarette. I married him. While we lived separately mostly Because he worked in the East Valley and I worked in the West Valley and we never found a place or had the money to get a place. My roommates could not handle be bringing my transgender partner and love over for the weekend and have been trying to force me out for the past few months. Now that my employment situation has deteriorated they may be able to get me out. I have no place to go, no money to get a new place.
Hopefully I will find my way. My future looks bleak The stress and worry have affected me. At this time when my life looks hopeless, I am once again alone. My fear and my dispair pushed my beloved partner and other friends away.
I hope that there is a light at the end of this tunnel.
#AdamKratt #Homeless #Arizona #FTM #Transgender #queer #LGBT #Dylan #Sarette #Kratt #Adam #Jewish #Dispair #Fear #Depression #love #kink
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