Sitting here realizing that in 51 years I have only been in four romantic relationships.
My first one when I was 16 and he was 32. Perry, how I have missed you. Perry was a dashing and handsome Vietnamese Leatherman. It was a wonderful relationship that lasted four years. Who knows how long it would have lasted. Unfortunately that relationship began in the late 80s at the height of the AIDS epidemic when infection was almost a guaranteed death sentence. Perry was not spared. His immune system became so compromised that some exotic disease that so rare the doctors had no treatment for it. Fortunately for me I was not infected and over 30 years later I am still HIV negative. From Perry I got my introduction into the Leather Community where I proudly today still live a leather lifestyle and am a member of the Arizona Men of Leather.
The second and only Cis Woman was Barb, I was 27 and she was 30. A beautiful woman of color with dark mahogany skin and short blond hair. She introduced me to Kink and BDSM. I was her partner and slave for 4 wonderful years. Today I wonder if that relationship could have lasted the test of time if it had just been Her, me and her 2 wonderful daughters who were like my kids. Unfortunately for me, Missouri hadn't at least not in the late 90s early 2000s wasn't so forward thinking. Her family wasn't ready for a white guy to join the family and made hell for her and I. The strain on our relation from the opposition to an interracial relationship from her family proved to much.
Fast forward to 2022, I meet a wonderful transman. I am a Leather Master into kink and BDSM and Temprace is a young, 23 year old interested in BDSM and Leather. We met and originally started out as Mentor and mentee. Our dynamic becan as Dominant and submissive. I would teach him about D/s and teach him how to be a BDSM top as he was more switch than submissive. That relationship went from Dom/sub and Mentor/mentee to Master/slave and a romantic partnership. Then entered Phil a submissive who Temprace wanted to be a play top with. Phil would be my submissive while being Temprace's play bottom. Didn't quite work out that way a few months later Temprace and Phil ghosted me and began their own relationship.
My fourth and most recent relationship... the one that captured my soul and my heart was Dylan a transmasc sexy and adorable Korean boy. I have no one to blame for losing this relationship. There was no HIV. There was no racist family. There was no third person influence. I was me, and me. I was so hurt from Temprace that I was scared to fully commit to Dylan until it was too late. I realized to late that I needed him in my life and that I loved him more than anything. He is worthy of the best in life. I should have given him all of my love and devotion.
To be honest... I don't know how to be in a relationship. I wish I did. because I ruined the best relationship with the best person I could have ever met. I hope one day Dylan will forgive me.
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