Since December 25 I have been sleeping in my car. The only thing I had that was keeping me going was that I had a job. Today, I was advised that this weekend will be my last. That I was not to return on the second. Saturday and Sunday will be my last shifts.
I really see no reason to continue. My Partner, Dylan, has left me. I was on the way to kill myself when a meeting with a new friend stopped me. The warmth and happiness that this friend, Baddie, gave me the hope I needed not to kill myself that night. Unfortunately the pain I had from Dylan leaving me and the pain I was still feeling from Merrick abandoning was to much for Baddie and he decided to end our friendship.
The only thing that kept me motivated to stay alive was that Dylan was on my employre healthcare and that I could show my love ny providing the one thing for him, health insurance. but now... I don't have any work. so sleeping in my car so I could get to work the next day to provide the health insurance to the man I love.. now no longer exists.
There really is no reason to not end it after I get paid next week. I can send that money from my check to Dylan. I can leave this world knowing I gave him everything of mine.
#FTM, #Queer, #LGBT, #LGBTQIA, #Transgender, #Adam Kratt, #Dylan Sarette, #Phoenix, #Arizona, #BDSM, #Leatherman,
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